Are you trying to make sense of what it means to be a fully-fledged adult?
When trying to understand the human lifespan, many psychologists and psychiatrists have organised our lives into developmental stages that extend from birth to death. For Erik Erikson, since adulthood covers a span of many years over the eight developmental stages that he categorised, he divided adulthood into the experiences of young adults, middle-aged adults, and older adults. For each stage, he identified a psychological and social struggle between a desirable outcome and an undesirable outcome to ensure the successful transition of adults in the world.
Where do you locate yourself in the stages of adulthood that we are about to discuss?
Young Adult (18 - 35 years old)
Stage Six: Young Adulthood
Developmental outcome: Intimacy OR Isolation
In trying to establish your independence in the world, as a young adult you balance the development outcome of intimacy and solidarity with isolation. This is a time in which lasting friendships are formed, a career path is forged, a significant other is met, and a family of your own is often started. So, a successful outcome of this developmental stage depends on how well you acquire the strengths of affiliation and love.
If it's time to start therapy, you may find yourself asking these questions:
. To what degree do I feel connected or disconnected from myself and others?
. Am I showing up in my relationship on the best way possible?
. Why have I not met someone I want to spend my life with?
. What is my relationship like to wealth and finances?
. Do I even believe in marriage and family?
. Have I chosen the right career for me?
Middle Adult (35 - 65 years old)
Stage Seven: Middle Adulthood
Developmental outcome: Generativity OR Stagnation
During middle adulthood, you may feel an urge to prioritise the wellbeing and progress of your family, your community, and your world. Since your material and financial resources and social influence are at its peak, you are called upon to apply either generativity or self-absorption and stagnation. In valuing the betterment of others and the world you live in, a successful outcome of this developmental stage is that you enhance the strengths of production and care.
If it's time to start therapy, you may find yourself asking these questions:
. Do my relationships fulfil me?
. Have I healed and moved on from my past hurts?
. Have I established myself in a career that reflects my values and who I am?
. What kind of consumer of goods, services, and social media do I want to be?
. To what degree do I feel the need to take responsibility for myself and others?
. How much of external representations of success (like cars and money) do I need?
Older Adult (65 onwards)
Stage Eight: Late Adulthood
Developmental outcome: Ego integrity OR Ego despair
As an elder, when you look back on your life, you see both happy and unhappy times, commendable and uncommendable actions, and desirable and regrettable outcomes. If you conclude that you are content with the past as it was, you reflect with integrity. However, if you are filled by sadness at your life's history, despair may follow. In valuing a life lived in accordance with your hopes, dreams, and values, a successful outcome of this developmental stage is wisdom.
If it's time to start therapy, you may find yourself asking these questions:
. Do I reflect on my life choices with pride?
. Am I harbouring any regrets about an action I took in the past?
. Have I held on to bitterness and resentment about something?
. Do I blame myself for something that I see as a failure in my life?
Your personal and lifelong psychological developmental journey is a magnificent and profoundly meaningful endeavour
Development is a lifelong project with the stages of adulthood being some of the most challenging.
We all learn our way through life and if you have doubts or concerns that you see reflected in some of the questions in thispost, it's possibly time to lean into therapy for support.
Here when you are ready,
