Most couples can benefit from counselling as an avenue that provides relationship support.
If you are working through a specific challenge, such as infidelity, substance dependence, or infertility, or of you are navigating a stressful period, such as getting married, having a baby, moving, or changing career paths, then therapy could be beneficial for your relationship.
Overall, the couples therapy process also helps to enhance key aspects of being in relationship, including improving communication, overcoming obstacles, resolving conflict, exploring intimacy, and maintaining a healthy, stable partnership.
What to expect in couples therapy
Before you begin, it is important to discuss with your partner which factors are most important to each of you when looking for a therapist. Remember to establish whether either of you have any preferences regarding the gender, cultural background, or location of the person you will be seeing.
I identify as a female, heterosexual, cisgender Indian woman and my pronouns are she/her.
The practice is based in Bryanston, and I often suggest that couples also live and work close by so that coming to sessions is not hampered by distance (or loadshedding!).
Once you decide to embark on the process, the first few sessions of couples therapy generally involve discussing the details of your relationship, along with what you hope to work on in sessions.
As your therapist, I will help you identify areas of improvement, set goals for your relationship, and establish a personalised treatment plan to maximise your results from therapy.
From overcoming a specific challenge, such as those related to life transitions, to addressing feelings like disconnect or loneliness, through therapy, exercises, and techniques your relationship can be assisted.
Can couples therapy make things worse?
If you, as a couple, are not ready to address the issues that have brought your relationship to therapy, then the process could make things worse.
When there is a lot of anger, resentment, and bitterness between you both, it can be very difficult to address your concerns constructively in therapy. If partners are unwilling to open up and share their feelings honestly with the other, then the therapy sessions can quickly become frustrating and unproductive. In this case, couples therapy can do more harm than good.
That's why willingness is important as both partners must be fully committed to the relationship and interested in resolving the issues.
If both partners are willing to work on the relationship and are committed to making things better, then couples therapy can be an extremely effective tool in helping couples resolve the struggles in their relationship.
How does couples therapy make things better?
Participating in couples therapy helps you to acquire skills or enhance your toolkit to deepen your connection with your partner.
The benefits of couples therapy can include:
. Having a therapist who can identify underlying issues and emotions you might not be aware exist
. Identifying harmful or damaging patterns in your relationship and working around them
. Finding common ground and learning to relate to each other in a loving, kind way
. Having a third-party mediator to facilitate constructive conversations
. Practicing techniques to enhance emotional and physical intimacy
. Setting time to dedicate to the improvement of your relationship
. Creating a safe, calm space in therapy to discuss difficult topics
. Discovering and developing valuable skills to manage conflict
. Forming action plans to make your relationship a priority
. Feeling supported and listened to in your relationship
. Finding new ways to communicate with your partner
. Establishing healthy boundaries in your relationship
. Rebuilding trust with one another
If you are open as individuals, and as a couple, to having these shifts occur in your relationship, let's get this conversation started.
